Finding Magic in the Mess by Steven Fonso

Author:Steven Fonso
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2019-07-22T16:00:00+00:00

Can you surrender to their pace of learning? How can you support and acknowledge them along the way?

Learning is all day, every day, for life.

embrace inconvenience

The truth is that when you commit to having a child, you commit to a life of inconvenience. You left your previous life behind; a life of coming and going, doing what you want, showering when you want, eating when you want, meeting every egocentric desire you can possibly imagine, and indulging your every whim. You left that life. It is long gone, and it is the parent who clings or attempts to regain the freedom enjoyed in the old life who suffers. It’s time to release the idea of rewinding time and instead move forward. That’s your past; your children are your future. Their needs take precedence over yours.

Inconvenience is called sacrifice. Sacrifice is what you signed up for by becoming a parent. If you wanted to preserve your old life, your old ego needs, your old way of being, you shouldn’t have had a child. But you had one, and so the sooner you recognize that you came together because you were ready to retire the old version of you, the sooner you will find freedom in this sacrifice. Moving into a place of service, growth, and contribution is a spiritual contract you made with your child. They didn’t enter into this world saying they were going to be convenient, meet your every need, and follow your every command. Your new reality is quite the opposite.

They will test every facet of your ego, to get you to accept that inconvenience is part of being a parent. The harder you fight it, the harder the ego works to retain its previous identity and the harder parenting is. Worse still, the more you will disconnect from your child.

Breastfeeding, which is most often the parents’ decision unless adoption or medical reasons require otherwise, is a perfect example of inconvenience. Watching my wife go through what she did to feed our children, I realized that in my eyes it was an act of pure love.

We saw and knew the compelling benefits of providing our children with the most profound nutrients available on the planet while simultaneously embracing the pains that come with it. Regardless of the pain, sleep deprivation, emotional stress, and frustration, the inconvenience of breastfeeding was not able to sway our compelling vision to serve our children with optimal physical and emotional nourishment.

Successful breastfeeding is a team effort, because there are so many conveniences that would allow and compel parents to throw in the towel. What were the options two hundred years ago? Either the child breastfeeds or the child dies.

Too many conveniences of modern times lend themselves to strong minds but weakened visions, and children suffer because convenience is placed ahead of what is optimal. The ego can quickly lose sight of what is most beneficial for the child, to have its own needs met. When you focus on the child, the rhythms of the child’s needs are at the helm of the decision-making process.

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